Att deklarera sin självständighet var varken relevant eller godtagbart tyckte Skatteverket. Aningen inskränkt kan man tycka, jag hoppades att man även inom denna djupt traditionsbundna myndighet skulle ha införlivat fler mjuka värden i sitt arbete och att en sådan begäran därför skulle avhandlas med uppmuntrande bifall som följd. Jag fann förvisso inte någon helt adekvat blankett att framföra ärendet på, men eftersom det fanns en stor mängd till synes helt onödiga och därför innehållslösa rutor kvar på huvudblanketten tillät jag mig att använda fritextprincipen i dessa. Kanske hade jag bara oturen att få mitt ärende handlagt av en överdrivet konservativ och paragrafkramande träskalle, men avslaget verkade på träskallens resoluta avfärdande, och därtill faktiskt omotiverat ohövliga ton, inte vara överklagningsbart.
Så jag framställde, på ett mycket välformulerat och vänligt sätt ska tilläggas, önskan om att helt få avsluta mitt abonnemang hos nämnda myndighet och erhöll tämligen omgående svar även på denna förfrågan vilket var något förvånande. Jag häpnade emellertid i väldigt mycket högre grad över beskedet om uppsägningstidens fullständigt orimliga längd och fann, efter genomlysning av handläggarens nu snäppet mer hotfulla argumentation, det vara oerhört lämpligt att återkalla uppsägningen för att om möjligt undvika åtal.
Det verkar som att man för evigt är dömd att årligen och oåterkalleligen låta sitt självförtroende knycklas till av den överlägsna statsapparaten genom att tvingas inse och dessutom offentligt blotta sina brister avseende räknelära och förståelseförmåga. För att göra skammen extra tung att bära har man på ett mycket finurligt sätt konstruerat hjälpavsnitten så att de rent språkligt förefaller vara skrivna till en normaltrög mellanstadieelev, men lyckas ändå väva in formuleringar och ordval som fullständigt demolerar kontexten i slutfasen av varje mening. En form av skriftlig härskarteknik som om det inte vore för sammanhanget i övrigt hade varit mycket imponerande. Så när man hyperventilerat sig igenom det fjärde migränanfallet och träder in i ångestdimmornas dunkla och enkelriktade katakomber, i vägskälet där hjärnblödning, självförebråelse och längtan efter evig och pulslös dvala möts, tar man (fortfarande utan att med egna tillägg ha befläckat det heliga dokumentet) i kapitulerande uppgivenhet ändå fram sin e-legitimation för att i blindo godkänna alla förifyllda uppgifter utan ändringar. Och trots att man inte vet vad man gjort och att man rent spekulativt kan ha signerat en digital dödsdom, uppstår ändå en omedelbar känsla av lättnad och livsbejakande tillfredsställelse. Sannolikt mest för att man i bästa fall erhållit tolv nya månader av myndighetstystnad.
Vissa människor talar, inte sällan i ett alltför uppfordrande tonläge, om skatteplanering, avdrag och undantag som om de hade ett visst mått av kunskapsmässigt övertag gentemot myndigheten och därmed kunde skaffa sig skattemässiga fördelar gentemot oss andra. Troligtvis också på bekostnad av oss andra. Även om jag inte helt kan förskjuta tanken på att det finns besparingar att tillgodogöra sig om man bara fyller i fler rutor på blanketten så har jag svårt att föreställa mig att sådana rutor skulle kunna vara avsedda för mig, eller vilka siffror och rutor man i så fall skulle chansa på. I sådana diskussioner känner jag mig alltid som en räddhågsen Lille Skutt omringad av multiversioner av sjävlbelåtna Skalman med varsitt förmanande pekfinger i luften.
Efter mitt revolutionära men omdömeslösa kuppförsök har jag nu tagit flera steg tillbaka och återgår till att utgöra den lydige mönstermedborgare jag hittills varit. En sådan som bakom ryggen hånas av sin omgivning men är älskad av skattepsykopaterna i maktens korridorer, en sådan som försvarar kyrkoskatten med argumentation om välgörenhet och som i tystnad hoppas på att postumt bli tilldelad Skatteverkets tapperhetsmedalj.
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